Created 2008/08/04  Modified 2009/11/17
The Boston and New England Highly Sensitive Person Group
A discussion, support and social group for HSPs in Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire,
Rhode Island and Vermont.
How do Highly Sensitive People benefit from connecting?

The idea of being in a group may seem counterintuitive to many HSPs. Many of us don't like socializing in groups, and may even have had bad experiences in doing so. In fact, the idea can be downright scary and anxietymaking.

Why regional or local groups? Why HSP peer relationships? Why such things as "HSP Gatherings?"

The promotion of "HSP Groups" is in large part the result of the very positive feedback from HSPs who have attended the periodic HSP Gatherings around the US, and abroad. The bottom line is that nobody "gets" the HSP experience like a fellow HSP. The insights, validation and good feelings that come with spending time in the company of peers are substantial. Elaine Aron, author of "The Highly Sensitive Person," is a strong proponent of HSPs connecting with their peers, either through groups, or "dyad relationships," which can serve as a form of Co-Counseling.

But don't take my word for it. Read others' thoughts about why HSPs benefit from knowing each other-- especially 2001 Gathering attendee Marcia Norris' article "Why HSPs Need to Gather"
HSP Gathering Retreats

This site mentions "HSP Gatherings" quite frequently. An HSP Gathering is 4-5 day retreat, with workshops, creative activities, fellowship and quiet time, all offered in an "HSP Safe" environment. Attendees usually find these events to be extremely healing and validating, if not outright life transforming. Gatherings are typically limited in size (part of maintaining an HSP friendly environment) to about 30-35 attendees, and take place 2-3 times a year around the US, and sometimes overseas.

An HSP Gathering took place in Phoenicia, NY in October 2008. It was the first such Gathering in the eastern US since 2005, and was a wonderful opportunity for HSPs in the region to connect with other HSPs! Visit the "2008 NY HSP Gathering" page for more info about this event.

The next HSP Gathering in resonable proximity to this area will take place at Black Mountain, North Carolina, on April 8-12, 2010. For more information about this event, please visit Gathering creator/organizer Jacquelyn Strickland's web site.

Learning and healing through reciprocal support and validation

In several places on this web site, I have used the phrase "Nobody gets the HSP experience like another HSP." Therein lies perhaps the key to why groups and "peer relationships" can be so important for HSPs.

Clearly, while going to a Gathering may be the ideal way to meet other HSPs, it is not feasible for the majority of people-- from a cost, time, stress, and scheduling perspective. Yes, they are extremely positive, empowering and rewarding experiences, but many HSPs would prefer something closer to home, as well something that just takes a little less time, money and energy, rather than a "full immersion experience" lasting 3-5 days.

The most reasonable and realistic alternative is the local HSP peer group. Not a "support group" in the sense of a professional therapist running group therapy sessions, but a support-IVE group of HSP peers who get together on a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or some other schedule to simply BE together, and discuss the daily issues only fellow HSPs can truly relate to. Although not "therapy" in the traditional sense, such groups can-- by nature-- be very healing.

The HSP Internet group-- an "HSP Safe" first step towards connecting

My own experiences-- which seem to be shared by HSP group hosts around the US, and abroad-- is that HSPs like to "think about" things before doing them, and once the decision is made, to "start slowly." The Internet based group format offers a number of advantages, in that respect.

It's a place where people can gradually get to know each other and have discussions from the safety of their living rooms, before making a commitment to meet anyone, face-to-face. A certain comfort level can be built among group members, to a point where going to actually meet the group doesn't feel quite so much like "going to meet a bunch of strangers." Far less daunting, for most, than answering an ad in a newspaper, and just setting out to meet a group of unknown people, in an unknown environment.

I'm an HSP-- and I certainly know which approach to making contact with HSPs I'd prefer. I'd be surprised if you didn't feel the same way!